Category: abandoned

Sit Down

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Night fell, the blues turned golden, the stars arrived but still the seats remained empty.

They did not know what the other was thinking, but were too afraid to commit to what they thought the other may or may not think.

So no words were exchanged, no debate ensued and no conclusions sort. It would remain the same for years to come and with each passing minute the bitterness grew.

What they each thought of each other was only what they had made up in their own heads and each passing thought paralysed the potential for change.

Time

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It was strange, I must of sat with her talking a million times, feeling at home at ease. But something had changed, I felt a pressure to say something, to inspire, to placate, I dunno but the atmosphere was uneasy.

I tried to be upbeat, to ask questions, to feel engaged with her life, but I didn’t care, the more I listened the more I got frustrated with her words, nothing mattered, nothing made me laugh or smile or think. I just sat there numb.

After… before, every time we met I thought about myself, I questioned if it was me who was being a dick or if she had changed or if she was just old, did I just need a little more patience. But I couldn’t find it, I couldn’t find anything that we linked on. God I sound awful, this is becoming a rant.

She seemed to have lost some of her kindness, a gentleness that makes people so attractive, an inner smile and the ability to laugh at oneself. She had become combative, like a war had risen up against her. We had always teased her, gently though, but she was the one you went to. She was always the one who knew the answers.

I exhaled and thought more, we were just in different worlds now. And every time I described it I felt defensive towards it and aggressive against it. I didn’t like me like that, so I stayed numb.

Maybe it was because she knew he was leaving, maybe she knew she would have to be brave. Maybe she felt guilty that she had made him hold on, I don’t know, but it was not the same, the family had changed.

A Little More

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Can you squeeze a little more out of what you have or do, or do you just replace it with something new.

With all the fun there is to be had can you live forever true.

But when you have sucked it all away the glass is empty, just buy a little something else to pick a new energy.

But it is true to say that if, you wait till it is dry there will be nothing left to inspire your inner eye.

So pack away the things you own and throw away the key, keep your eyes wide awake for the world’s simplicity.

Squeeze away, suck out the fun, drain all that it is there, please yourself, burn everyone, but don’t come crying when it is bare.

For the choice is yours, to drain to buy, the newest of the knew, the world has all the answers for all your questions true.

But remember when all is said and done to listen to yourself, ask yourself the question were you sheep or something else?

Words

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Always the same, like emotions, they are just our understanding of physiological responses to our thoughts.

Our body sweats, scared, fatigued, hot… simple. But then you see, the words get all twisted up and used to make people feel a certain way. Words should not push the feeling, feeling should push the word.

Then it all gets kinda complex. Do I feel the feeling because of the words or do I really see the thing and feel the truth. Or my truth at least.

Too many factors, the experiment would have too many variables to make a clear evaluation.

Anyway Paradise.

He laughed to himself.

People

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She arrived expecting the worst. Expecting a melee of people surrounding the boat, demands, shouts, orders and offers. But as they neared the pier there was no one.

Something must have happened. Perhaps else where, perhaps downtown. Perhaps, oh, a thought suddenly jumped into Beth’s mind. What day was it? Maybe a holiday. The market day might have changed. Shit she thought to herself.

She cut the engine and drifted toward the docking bay. The fear of the crowds and demands turned into the need for people. How was she to sell if no one was there. The ice was already on the turn. Her stock wouldn’t last. Well at least the sun was shining.

The Boat

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Let me be… let me be, let me travel from land to sea, why oh why d’you put me here, this land around is full of fear.

The sea is where free energy flows, the water is, all I know.

Let me float with wind and tide, let me escape these humans who have no eyes,

No eyes to see what’s wrong, no freedom to feel their inner song, to shout out loud, to feel their soul, they just dig and dig inside their hole.

But when they realise they are in too deep, the sides to climb are just too steep.

So please release me from this tree and let me feel the water, surround me.

Thief

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‘Right we got seven minutes.’ Sean said as they walked purposefully through the maze of shelves, using the light from their phones to illuminate their path to the counter. They jumped over and entered the office closing the door behind them. On a wooden desk they saw the safe perched precariously on top, a large dial and lock on the front. Sean handed Biola the scrap of paper and put the key in the lock.

‘read out the numbers’

Biola responded.

‘clockwise – 18’

Sean twisted the dial so the number 18 was in line with the red marker at the top of the dial where 12 would be on a clock.

‘Anti-clockwise – 33’
Again Sean twisted the dial, but this time in the opposite direction. ‘clockwise – 46’

The dial make a click as if something had released behind the door, they looked at each other and then Sean turned the key with the red tag in the lock. It ran smoothly, and there was a louder click as the heavy door swung open with its own weight and the angle of the desk the safe was sitting upon.

‘Boooom’ Biola cried as he peered into the safe, there were wads and wads of cash, it seemed like more than they had anticipated, it looked like something out of Ocean’s Eleven, it felt like Ocean’s Eleven, maybe they had more than they were expecting? Maybe they could all go home with 5K Biola thought.

‘Shhhhh’ Sean interrupted. ‘Pass me the bag’ Biola paused
‘The bag’ Sean demanded raising his voice a little.

Biola looked around as if he had dropped the bag, but he knew straight away that he had forgotten it, it wasn’t even in the car, he knew exactly where it was, he knew it was back at the flat on the sofa in Sean’s living room.

‘Sh*t man, sorry..’
Sean looked up at him, ‘you kidding me? You chump. F**k man’

But this was no time to despair, The clock was ticking and they needed a solution. Sean was thinking quickly.

‘Get some X-change bags’
‘From where?’ Biola replied
‘F**k knows, behind the counter.’ Sean guessed

Biola quickly responded walking out of the office to the area behind the counter. He started looking through the cupboards, nothing in the first, then he looked into the second, just a load of random stationary and plastic figures from cartoons and computer games that mostly came as freebees when new games came into the shop to help promote the new releases. Biola opened the third door and there was a stack of plastic bags neatly folded.

‘Yees bruv’ he called out to Sean, ‘How many do we want?’ ‘Bring two’ Sean estimated.

They stuffed all the notes into the plastic bags, the wads mainly in tens, a few twenties and some blocks of fives. The denominations low to reflect the value of the sales that the shop made to its customers.

‘Pikeys’ Sean murmured under his breath as if he was justifying the robbery to himself by creating a Robin Hood type of persona.

‘Right, lets go, check Tyrell is cool.’ Sean indicated as he pushed the safe door shut turned the key and picked up his bag.

Ugly

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They were breathing heavily as they crossed the motorway. It had been a long walk along the side of the fence until they had found a way up and over. They crossed the lanes quickly as the traffic was thin and now with fatigue setting in they needed somewhere to sleep. Slipping and sliding across the loose earth on the banks below the metal barriers, they slowly forced their way through the thick brambles towards the silhouette of a building in the distance.

After 40 minutes or so they arrived, the windows and doors boarded up but the building looked solid. A concrete masterpiece. After a few minutes they found a gap in the fence and had climbed the sharp edges of the spiral staircase, when they reached the top Billy pushed forcefully against the old door and it caved in.

Simple

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We arrived late at night, the process was simple, we all knew how to put it together and it was not long until we were out of the sun and the food was on the table.

I looked around at the faces of those that I loved and wondered about what was enough. What was needed or what was wanted. I looked back at my plate the flavour was the same, the same as always, but the smiles were there too, same as always.