I didn’t really know what to think, so I sat in silence. Looking out at the ridge line waiting for the sunset to do its thing. And it did, those pinky blues lit up the horizon silhouetting the almond tree. But it wasn’t enough, the silence was uncomfortable, my thoughts confused. I just didn’t know how I was supposed to feel.
I sat there longer annoyed at myself for thinking about how I was supposed to feel rather than working out how I actually felt, but every time I tried to really feel I couldn’t draw the emotion out. So I sat in silence my emotions numb.
He hid behind the tar barrel waiting for the sailor to move, time was short but if he went now he would definitely give his position away, so he sat, huddled, waiting.
There seemed to be some discussion about the theft but the facts that Toby could overhear didn’t worry him. They were thin on the ground and they definitely didn’t know he was aboard. The two sailors finally departed, Toby had his chance.
He crawled out from behind the barrel and crossed the deck, making sure to avoid the ropes and the wooden board, that looked as if might squeal and give his position away. He paused by the mast, double checked the last few meters and scrabbled to the ladder. Swiftly he spun around and climbed down, as he got close to the water he gave one last look back to the deck, no one, then slid into the water.
After six or seven strokes he was clear, he had to swim fast, but not make any sound, he kept his body low, deep in the water, taking long strokes praying the morning sun would not reveal him.
Finally he pulled himself up the pebbled beach and ran towards the undergrowth. He felt his pocket, it was still there. He let our a small cry of happiness, smiled and vanished into the olive grove.
Alex entered the room, the children knew they should still be asleep, but the arrival of their Uncle the night before was too exciting and the anticipation of fun and games too much to keep their eyes closed.
‘What is going on here you little ratbags.’ Uncle Alex teased the children. There was some little giggling coming from under the duvet. ‘Are there two little thieves hiding from their Uncle under there?’ Alex moved towards the bed where two small children were hiding.
‘We not thieves’ came a muffled denial and then a head popped out, ‘you are a thief’ said Sarah
‘Yea you are a thief’ confirmed her younger brother.
‘I am not’ Uncle Alex replied before jumping on the bed to wrestle the two children. After a few minutes of rough and tumble Sarah’s brother pipped up.
‘Why did you call us thieves?’
Uncle Alex pointed to the jar by the side of the bed filled up with fairy lights. ‘Look, there is the evidence’
Sarah and her brother looked at each other puzzled.
The children sat on the grass and watched their dog mooch around. Sniffing the tree trunks, bushes and the corners of the strange white building that didn’t seem to house anything. Perhaps it was a storeroom in times gone by.
‘Imagine being a dog’
‘Woof’ Rebecca replied
‘Very funny, no imagine, not having to think’
‘I am pretty sure dogs think Sarah’
‘No, like just thinking now… oh smell that, oh that smells better, oh actually I think another dog is coming.’ She mimicked the nose of their dog sniffing the air. ‘Just thinking of what is in the now, what is there.’ She paused as Muji came back from around the white building carrying a stick. ‘See look, he just lives for the now.’
‘And your point being?’ Rebecca asked
‘I just wish I could live for now and not have to worry about the future or the past. I just want to hunt for sticks.’
‘Hmmmm…’ Rebecca mused. ‘That’s what all those self help, meditation apps tell you, live in the moment, but it’s not really that easy. You have lots of stuff going on, exams, Brian, Mum’s birthday, A-level choices, things as simple as what to wear to church next Sunday. Muji just has, where is my next meal coming from?’
‘But that’s my point, what if we could stop worrying about all those things and just work on instinct, you know stop questioning if one way is better or the other. How cool would that be?’
Rebecca smiled, ‘I reckon we would end up with a lot of bad decisions!’
They giggled together… ‘Like splitting up with Brian.’
‘Or buying Mum tickets for Spice Girls’. They laughed louder.
‘I think she would actually quite like the Spice Girls concert.’
‘Yea your right… See perhaps instinct is a good idea.’
The only way through was to swim, it didn’t look far and what could happen? You hear these stories about people dying in 2ft of water and you end up laughing. You think it could never happen to you, but this was close. I stripped off my clothes wrapped them around the bars and placed them on my head.
The idea was to take a few strokes and see if the weight was too heavy, if it was I could swim back and think of another plan. I set off.
This is fucking easy I laughed as I plunged into the gorge swimming head held high one arm holding the weight to my head one arm pulling myself through the water. But after 10 or 15 strokes I realised I was in the shit.
The beat flowed, the bodies followed, it was steady, continuous, but fluctuating. The rhythm held the dancers, kept them still for moments and then released them, allowing them to express their own interpretation of the music.
Hands united, eyes focused, pupils widened. Those that played were lost in the beat, those that danced felt the sound waves, felt the music as if it were an object hanging in the air. As they danced they moved the sounds around like a giant Rubik’s Cube, twisting and turning, spinning and falling. They played and danced till the sun had gone and returned. They smiled and laughed and the next day they thought. They sat and watched the horizon, mind stumbling to find last nights clarity.
‘It’s like you and the water are united you feel the power of pachamama running through you, everything else stops, you just feel…’ Sophie turned to the mountain standing in front of them, then up to the sky. ‘… I don’t know, you feel alive.’
‘Well that sounds all well and good, but you can feel alive in lots of other ways and not have to spend years rolling around in the mud.’
Sophie turned to her sister and looked at her, frustrated, she had heard all these arguments before, you should do this, you should do that. Initially it had angered her, but she had grown to accept it. However this was her sister and she wanted her to feel, to understand what she was talking about.
‘How many times have you woken up on Monday and felt your head pounding, looked at your alarm clock and feared the week ahead?’
‘Eeeeeerrr… like every Monday.’
‘How many times have you got to Friday and felt a huge sense of relief?’
‘Comon Sophie… get to the point.’
‘Well I don’t have that… ever… Not the Monday/Friday bit, but the sense of anxiety and the huge sense of relief. It doesn’t exist in my life. I just have me and a sense of me.’
Sophie’s sister tool a moment to think.
‘But you worry about some shit. I mean you have to, money for example, you have to have money to eat and you have to eat, or does the land magically provide some spiritual nourishment that replaces the bodily need for food!’ She laughed at her sister and a little at her own joke.
‘Shut up’ Sophie replied playfully. ‘Look of course there are things that I need to survive, I am just saying that the drastic opposites are not healthy, the ups and downs. Everything I experience is much simpler. I have what I have, if I need more I work a way to get it, but I don’t fight with the world or the expectations society places upon us. It’s just nature and me and…’
She paused thinking of the times it literally had been just her and nature, times when she had been very lonely. Then continued. ‘It can be lonely, but you find joy in other living things and this reminds you that you are alive.’
Sophie’s sister smiled a comforting smile, ‘I think I like my iphone too much.’
The Angel played and the birds danced, soaring high into the sky, up up up to the mountain tops and then, pressing their wings tightly to their bodies they plummeted back down toward the church. The Angel loved those birds and they loved her music. They would play for hours circling the spire, perching on the cross, dancing to a different tune.
‘It’s like fishing, you put the maggot on the hook, the fish tries to eat the maggot and gets a little surprise’
‘And then?’
‘Well, the bike is like the maggot, they will come running down the path, see the bike and then come looking for us up the hill.’
‘So we are telling them where we are, that’s stupid’
‘Well that’s what you think, but you are wrong. We will see them coming up the hill and then when they get into the boulder field we will double back and run back down the path, easy peasy.’
There was a pause as the plan settled in Joe’s mind. He nodded his head in agreement but still had questions. ‘What about the bike?’
Jacob hadn’t thought about the bike ‘ummm… the lock’s pretty solid we will come back for it later.’
Life From the Dirt 