Big breath… closed eyes, pause to let the body relax.

Everywhere he looked he saw reminders of her, reminders of what could have been, contrasting against what he chose. It was almost polar opposite, but then opposites attract. Well that’s what they say.

But he was certain that the attraction was not the right way, the future that he could see with her would only drain him. It would be easy to change for her, easy to fulfil everyone else’s expectations of the perfect marriage, but he just didn’t want it. Even now as the thoughts ran through his head everything was being analysed predicted, driven, persuaded.

He sighed again and tried to place his thoughts back on track. Why was he here and why it was true. He closed his eyes again and rested his head.

It wasn’t long before the dream came back, his body started to sweat and the reminders of the ugliness of the drain, so picture perfect, effortless but evil, filled his thoughts. Kindness and ambition so ugly when stripped back, stripped back to the core, the skeleton of drive. The constant demand for the better, the right, the… fuck it he screamed forcing himself out of the dream…what is real he growled, what is real? He shouted again and again waiting for a change… what is real he sighed to himself… what is real he asked the horizon.