Category: conversation

Time

Posted in abandoned, Childhood, conversation, emotion, Why?Leave a comment

It was strange, I must of sat with her talking a million times, feeling at home at ease. But something had changed, I felt a pressure to say something, to inspire, to placate, I dunno but the atmosphere was uneasy.

I tried to be upbeat, to ask questions, to feel engaged with her life, but I didn’t care, the more I listened the more I got frustrated with her words, nothing mattered, nothing made me laugh or smile or think. I just sat there numb.

After… before, every time we met I thought about myself, I questioned if it was me who was being a dick or if she had changed or if she was just old, did I just need a little more patience. But I couldn’t find it, I couldn’t find anything that we linked on. God I sound awful, this is becoming a rant.

She seemed to have lost some of her kindness, a gentleness that makes people so attractive, an inner smile and the ability to laugh at oneself. She had become combative, like a war had risen up against her. We had always teased her, gently though, but she was the one you went to. She was always the one who knew the answers.

I exhaled and thought more, we were just in different worlds now. And every time I described it I felt defensive towards it and aggressive against it. I didn’t like me like that, so I stayed numb.

Maybe it was because she knew he was leaving, maybe she knew she would have to be brave. Maybe she felt guilty that she had made him hold on, I don’t know, but it was not the same, the family had changed.

Rich in Rocks

Posted in blue vein, conversation, emotion, environment, escapeTagged , , , , Leave a comment

The pace of the afternoon was slow, but the heat made slow the only possible choice. As with all times like these the second hand did it’s best impersonation of the minute hand and the mind began to race.

Jamie stood there staring at the group of his fellow climbers and wished his mind would stop, I suppose the constant inputs from the boredom machines, the social sites and the constant comparisons had trained the mind to move fast. Removed the ability of the mind to go slow or encouraged the mind to constantly evaluate. He shook his body like a dog shaking his fur after being told off by his master, literally shaking the anxiety from his body.

‘So what do you do for money?’ The tall blonde man said to Jamie, surprising him. Jamie looked around the cliff checking that the question was directed at him.

‘Ummm…’ Jamie stuttered, not entirely sure how to answer. ‘I have an apartment I rent.’

‘Perfect’ the tall blonde man replied ‘That’s great, I mean that’s all you need’.

‘Yea… But it won’t last forever. I mean at some point I will have to do something else.’

The blonde man smiled at Jamie and stood up. ‘Well when you need to you will. And at that point you will be rich, rich in rocks.’

It sounded like he was going to continue, but he didn’t, he just walked away clasping the hand of his daughter. Jamie stared at the back of the couple confused but finally the second hand slowed, his shoulders relaxed, the race was run.

Hungry

Posted in conversation, dinner, food, thoughtsTagged , , , Leave a comment

‘You want to eat something? I’ll invite you.’

‘Nah not really…’

‘Okay, let’s put it another way, you want to come and eat with me?’

‘Where?’

‘Mitropolis.’

Simon paused thinking about the menu at Mitropolis. He sighed, his head rocked back in the arm chair and his mind ran through all the scenarios of eating out. He had food in the fridge and didn’t want to spend more money, he would see people that he had to make small talk with. He didn’t actually want another Greek Salad. It was busy and that meant the service would be shit. Should he take the dog… how… ‘Oh shut up’ He said out loud accidentally.

‘I didn’t say anything…’

‘Sorry, not you I was talking to myself. Maybe I give it a miss.’

‘But then I will have to go and eat by myself.’

‘Go to the supermarket and cook at home.’

‘Then I have to wash up…’

There was silence as they both thought through all the things that each of them didn’t want to do.

‘Oh fuck it, I’ll come to the restaurant.’ Simon announced.

‘Yeeeesss! Good man, I promise we won’t talk bullshit to strangers. Only interesting conversation.’

Simon laughed, ‘Interesting conversation… with you?’

They laughed together

‘Come on Malaka.’